Why Are Your Pants Down?

I have to preface this post with: I believe this is the most inappropriate post I've ever written. However, I am pleased to say that it is at the expense of my best friend. I apologize ahead of time if this post creates offense in any way.

Brittany and I are going through a One Tree Hill phase. It's pretty hard core. We can't get homework done or go to sleep without watching at least two episodes... I believe that's called an addiction.

It is now two in the morning and me and Brittany just finished watching another episode. She was getting off my bed and made the most contorted face I've ever seen on her. She then proceeded to explain that her bruise hurt so bad she had to fart. We were laughing so hard that we couldn't breathe! I finally looked down at her on the ground and her pants were down around her ankles! I didn't know what to do so I just laughed even harder while asking her what in the heck her pants were doing. She told me she wanted to look at the bruise on her knee and justified her action by saying, "I couldn't pull my pants up because they were too skinny so I had to pull them down!" The funny thing was that she immediately told me I had to blog about this and said, "You're such a good writer, people are going to feel as though they were in your bedroom and saw my pants around my ankles!... At least I had underwear on." At two thirty in the morning I desperately hope I have conveyed this event to its full hilarity.

Goodnight World. May your dreams be filled with fully clothed people.

New Music

I've started building up my musical library. I just bought Lungs by Florence and the Machine and a Grace Potter & the Nocturnals album. Definitely my new favorite albums. Florence and the Machine is very creative. I would dare to say that some of her songs are on the same caliber of depressing as Evanescence but she does it better in my opinion. Grace Potter & the Nocturnals is awesome. I feel like their sound is a revival of oldies rock/blues with an urban edge. I could be way of base, but that's how I would describe it.

Nothing like good music to start off the weekend :).

Configuring...

So Brittany and I are watching One Tree Hill and brooke and luke were about to kiss when all of a sudden my computer logs off with no warning! Brittany screams, "what the...! Why does your computer always start configuring at the freakin most inconvenient time!" I just thought that was hilarious :)

My Trip to the ER

So the past few days have been... interesting to say the least. Sunday night I had to go to the Emergency Room because of a high fever... I kinda couldn't stop shaking. It was scary! So Brittany drove me to the ER and we met my dad there. Sarah and Ayne (my roommates) stayed in the waiting room while I underwent tests. Of course they shoved me in the most ugly room in the whole hospital! They walls looked like tortillas. They made me put on this hospital robe that came down to my ankles (let me tell you, they are a lot shorter in the movies!) My back was also completely exposed! Luckily they let me keep my pajama pants on! All in all... it was the most immodest thing I've ever worn, haha. They made me pee in a cup. They took some blood... which is my least favorite of all the medical tests. They gagged me with a strep test. They set up an IV with saline that made me have to pee 70 times an hour. And I had to take a catscan. That was not pleasant. They shot radioactive fluid into my veins. I could hear it fizzing as it went in! It made my whole body feel like it was on fire! Not exactly a pleasant sensation.

All in all... the tests came back fine. I'm not pregnant (HAHA!! That's really funny :). I don't have mono or strep. No appendicitis. No... nothing. Which is weird because I still feel like crap. But what can you do? I've enjoyed excused absences and watching Lord of the Rings. I guess I can't complain!

Here's a video I've recently discovered with my roommates. I think it is absolutely hilarious and hope you find it the same :)

Where's The Beef?

I went to the grocery store really late tonight with Beaves. We went through the check out, got home, washed produce, put away non-perishables and then realized I was missing my beef! I looked at Beaves and said, "Where's the Beef?!" Haha! I thought it was funny. For those of you that don't know the context for which to find this hilarious, take a look at this commercial:

Also, quote of the day: "He drives a weeney Jeep!"

The Life of a Clutz

Today I dropped my phone three times, my ID card once, my pen and bible once each, nearly ate pavement walking up a flight of stairs, and managed to get deodorant marks all over my work shirt... All before 11:00AM. This is a pretty average day for me. I'm a little concerned about how the rest of today will go...

And Thus It Begins

Tomorrow is the first day of the new semester. I can't say I'm enthused. It's exciting to be in new classes... I just don't want them to start yet.

As a last who-rah Sabrina, Brittany, and I had quite the fun girls night last night :). It was filled with mud masks, foot scrub and girly magazines!

My birthday is in four days! Can't wait to spend it with my best friends in Idaho :)

Stepping Out of Ordinary

Last year I set a goal for myself to believe in fairy tales again - to believe that dreams can come true. Through this resolution I have discovered an odd truth. I don't doubt that fairy tale endings or fairy tale beginnings can happen in real life. But there is a majority of us that never have this luxury occur. We are the majority leading extraordinarily ordinary lives. We dream of fairy tales and share with our children. We never stray too far off the already travelled road. We live for the next reality TV series to renew our despair for human race. What can we truly expect? How can we carve originality through the thick of mundaneness? I say to the majority - we don't have to stay ordinary! Live a little! Change your major to something you actually like. Take a painting class because it's what you've always wanted to do. Sing in a public place at a socially unacceptable time because you just can't keep it in. Dye your hair blue because you're just that awesome. Delete your Facebook account because you know that you couldn't care less about the conceited, self-centeredness of the "friends" you haven't had a real conversation with in years. Skinny dip in the ocean. Make a "That's what she said," joke in front of your boss. Become your own boss! Run through the streets in your underwear. Dare to be different. Dare to swim against the current for the sole reason that you're strong enough to do it! Dare to be extraordinary. This is my resolution - to step out of the ordinary.

Happy 2012!

Christmas Family Photos

There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters?

My sisters and I are just a little crazy sometimes. Last night I finally decided to start writing down the funny things that happen during our day. This is what I've got so far:

Ju: Tor! I can't reach my shampoo!

Jigs: Ju, you're supposed to be stretching every day!
Ju: So are you!
Jigs: No I'm not, ju!
Ju: Yeah ya is!!!!

New Jeans

I recently went shopping with my Nana. I found myself two pairs of new jeans. So I go back to my aunt's house to try them on again... la dee da... and what do you know? They definitely were a lot longer than I remember them being in the store.

It's a belittling day when you realize you're too short for your short-cut jeans. ... That about sums up my last two days.

I Miss Beaves

Ohio is still great. I started reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I love it! It's really great so far. I finished reading Plain Truth by Jodi Piccoult and I really liked it. I definitely recommend the book to everyone. It was the first Jodi Piccoult book I've read and I can't wait to read more of her stuff.

I bought Beaves her Christmas present yesterday and I'm pretty sure she's going to be so excited she might poop her pants! But I can't reveal any of my secrets online yet because she reads my blog haha, sorry Brittany!

My mom and sisters will be here in a half an hour, I'm so excited!

I miss Beaves! This is the first time we've been away from each other in six months! I feel like my right arm is missing. It feels weird. I miss you, Beaves!

(I recently discovered Jim Gaffigan. Here's a clip I think is absolutely hilarious! Beaves, this is so funny. I think of you when I watch it!)

Ohio

Ohio is great! The flight was agonizing, but what flight isn't? I can't wait for my mom and sisters to get here. I haven't seen them in a whole year. It hardly seems possible. I'm sure Jules is probably almost as tall as me and Jiggy probably is as tall as me. Weird. I can't believe that in less than two weeks it will be 2012. Hey, isn't that supposed to be the end of the world? Better make the most of it then right?

Can't wait for Christmas!

New Video Blog!

Beaves and I finally posted another video blog on Midge & Beaves Conquer the World. Everybody check it out! There's a link at the top of my blog for it :)

Running Total

Well... I can tell that this coming year is going to be a world of disappointment in the realm of New Year's Resolutions because I have a really hard time sticking to my health goals. I'm supposed to be exercising every day to help with my hypoglycemia... and I may or may not have eaten 6 donuts in the past 24 hours instead of going to the gym... I love myself and I hate myself.

Also! Great news! Today is the second time this week that someone has thought I was 21 or older! This is most exciting because no one ever  takes me seriously... on account of my looking like a pre-pubescent teenager. I think I may finally be growing into my face (notice that I said face instead of body... It's kind of hard to grow into your body when you've been the same height since fifth grade). So today I am happy!

Studying for finals this semester is actually going quite well. I started Monday of this week so I've slowly been reviewing everything and I feel fairly confident that exams will go well, if not adequate. Can't wait for Christmas!

That Moment

You know the moment when you realize you're not a child anymore? As a teenager you say it a lot to you're parents... "I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!" And then you move out of the house and go through a crisis. Mine happened at the laundromat when I realized I had no idea how to do laundry. This was made evident by my white washcloths that had turned green from the lime green towels in the same load. You realize in that moment that you're not ready for life. You can barely do you're own laundry without dying things lime green, how are you ever going to walk out of the apartment you now call home and embark on the rest of your life?! But how refreshing it is to know that lime green washcloths don't last forever!

Yesterday I was sitting in my Human Development lecture - the last lecture of the year for me. I was thinking of my life and where I'm headed right now. I assessed my goals and trajectories for each. And for the first time ever I can say I'm not a child anymore and truly believe it. And in that moment of belief, I saw a world of opportunity around me that I've never seen before. How amazing it is to know that I make my own choices and reap the consequences. How humbling it is to realize that I hold myself accountable for my own actions. How wonderful it is to find that I am in control of my life.

These moments of clarity come at the times I need them most. Lately I've been really struggling with staying calm, really. I get worried about everything and anything I cannot control. I panic when I don't know how things will work out. I become frazzled when I feel as though everything is caving in around me. But then again... who doesn't? But I'm so grateful that I know brighter days are ahead. They may not come for days... they may not come for years... but they will come. I have faith that God is in control of my life when I am not. And no matter what happens, I know that I am strong enough to handle life's challenges. This is quite interesting to finally realize. But it could not have come at a more crucial time. 

A Many Few Things

Well... my date on Saturday was... interesting. We'll leave it at that :)

I turn 19 in exactly one month. Can't wait to not feel any different. Finals begin next week for everyone on BYU campus except for me! I am taking my first final in an hour and a half. Awesome. I ended up twenty minutes late for my Stats class so I just skipped it. Smart? Eh... probably not but I told myself I would study for my final today. So naturally I decided to blog first. Smart? Definitely entertaining.

I was looking at Graduate Programs today because it dawned on me that I'm nearly half way done with my undergrad already. Weird, huh? I really want to go into Marriage and Family Therapy so I was researching top MFT programs in the U.S. Did you know that BYU is #2 in the entire nation for the most accredited Marriage and Family Therapy Schools? How amazing is that! And these aren't old statistics, it's just from 2010. It was a testimony to now more than ever that God has a plan for my life and I am exactly where I need to be. Sorry, I still can't get over that, it's just too cool to me! I'm meeting with my LDS Marriage and Family professor today to discuss a career in MFT. He owns his own MFT practice here in Utah and I'm very excited to hear what advice he has to offer.

Things are looking up in the near future... and by near I mean next Wednesday when I finally finish all of my finals. Just gotta keep my head on straight until then. We'll see what happens, haha.

Denny's

So Beaves, Sean and I went to Denny's this afternoon and the placemats had this activity where you fill in the blank with words you make up and then you read the whole story and laugh hysterically. So Sean was giving us the clues to the word Beaves and I needed to give him so the story would make sense. Here's what we came up with:

Dear Santa,
Is it freezing at the Chile? It's toasty here inside Denny's. I know I already danced you my wish list, but now I farted all these delicious holiday treats and I'd like to add nasty Red Velvet Pancake Puppies. Sure, a G.I. Joe is great, but it doesn't beat Arthur's Christmas Cookie Pancakes. And, I'd love a cute underpants to hike, but the new holiday additions to the Build Your Own Grand Slam will keep me clumsy. I know you've got tons of your mom to do so I'll let you go. Say butt to the elves for me. 
Love and Cookies,
Midge and Beaves


We were laughing so hard it was ridiculous! Slightly inappropriate but it was still funny :).

Today was generally uneventful but I am going on a blind date on Saturday :D. Katelyn, who is my very best friend back from middle school, set me up with this guy her date is roommates with so we're all going to the Basketball Game, then out to eat, and then walking Temple Square to see the lights! Needless to say, I am very excited! Also on Saturday I'm going to see my big sister and her baby! I can't wait to see them :).

More to come on Saturday, stay tuned haha!

Clumsy

I try to avoid writing new posts when I'm angry because I don't want to say anything that I'll read in the morning and think, "Why in the world would I publish that online?" However, I believe this is an exception. It has occurred to me - over many past experiences - that I am clumsy. Anyone and everyone who knows me is probably laughing hysterically about now and thinking, "Seriously, Kristi? You're just now realizing this?" So I say to you, "Yes! I am just now realizing this." And it is true that I trip over myself, I'm awkward around new people, I probably speak my mind a little too well and I just can't seem to grasp the concept of a good first impression... but believe it or not... this is not what I'm referring to when I call myself clumsy.

I was sitting in the Wilk today (a building on campus) waiting for Brittany to get done with her class so she could give me a ride home. I was reflecting on the day's past events, and stumbling to label how I was feeling about everything, when my thoughts started turning towards relationships. I don't like to dwell too much on past relationships because I think it's dumb... but today seemed to be an exception. As I was thinking I realized that I really am clumsy - and not only in the traditional way, but with my heart. I finally realized that sometimes I get ahead of myself. My feet move quicker than the rest of me and I end up wiping out! This means I get carried away too fast - I get attached too fast only to find that the proverbial "he" is moving like a snail across fly tape! The next relationship that comes along, I end up moving too slow - apprehensive about wiping out and falling straight on my butt again. I can't seem to trust myself enough to move ahead and by the time I've mustered up the courage to finally take the plunge "he" has realized I'm not what he wants anymore. So then I'm moving along in life and out of nowhere I trip over a rock I didn't even see coming and eat the pavement big time! I relate this to the people who are in your life for about 2.5 seconds before they shoot you down out of thin air. And by this time I'm ready to take the plunge again - ready to finally make something work... and the cycle starts all over again.

Why am I rampaging about my completely depressing love life? Because in my heart I know it's not in vain. And every time I "taste the pavement" I realize two things: 1.) that concrete tastes like bird crap and 2.) I know now more than ever what I want and what I am looking for.

So what is the point? What's the point of seemingly endless torture in the world of dating? I honestly don't know. All I can hope for is that one day I'll find someone who knows how clumsy I am and doesn't care. Where is the man that will slow me down when I get ahead of myself and say, "Kristi, you need to slow it down. I'm not going anywhere."? Where is the man that will pick me up when I can't move my feet and say, "Kristi, I know you're scared and I'm scared too. But we can do this together because together we have nothing to fear."? Where is that guy?

All I know is that for the first time since I was sixteen, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing in the realm of dating. So I say to all the clumsy people out there... you aren't alone. And if we keep moving forward, we just might learn how to stay on our own two feet along the way.

This Thanksgiving Season

This Thanksgiving was wonderful. Rexburg was amazing! It was so great to be back in Idaho with Micah, Linnea, Sabrina and Brittany. Brittany's family was the best as always and the kids were as cute as ever. We celebrated Thanksgiving the day after the actual holiday because Brother Fishback was driving down from Alaska a little later than expected. Micah left for Alaska the day after Sabrina, Brittany and I arrived in Idaho. We were sad to see her leave but it is so exciting that she is with her soon-to-be fiance, David!

Brittany, Sabrina, Linnea, Miss Brandy, Jaime and I went Black Friday shopping on Thursday night at Walmart. It was crazy! People are literally insane. I was just standing in line when some random lady completely ran my foot over! Naturally I gave her an unpleasant look, to which she scowled and said, "Well... You moved!" Excuse me lady?! After shopping we were all famished so Brittany, Sabrina, Linnea and I decided to drive to Idaho Falls to eat at Denny's. It was probably midnight by the time we got there and everyone was so tired and slap happy that I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out.

Our Thanksgiving celebration was awesome! I made pumpkin pies and helped with the gravy. I even had to call my Nana to make sure we were cooking the Turkeys on the right temperature! It's funny that a meal which took all day to prepare only took about fifteen minutes to cram down our throats, haha. After Thanksgiving Dinner we all played Just Dance. It was hilarious. The boys were so funny dancing to Brittany Spears' Toxic. Miss Brandy and Brother Fishback even got up and danced! That night all the older kids watched Part 2 of The Deathly Hollows. I never thought it would turn out to be as funny as it actually was. All of us were cracking "Your Mom" jokes the entire time. Most of them cannot be repeated because of their sheer inappropriateness but we literally could not stop laughing! Then Brother Fishback would pop his head in the room periodically, turn on the lights and say, "Yo mama!" and then walk away! We were laughing so hard our abs were aching the next morning.

As Sabrina and I packed our things up to get ready to leave Saturday afternoon, there was a lump in my throat. I didn't want to leave! We had such a wonderful break. I'm pretty sure that 90% of our time was spent laughing our heads off and strategically farting on each other's heads! In my book, it just doesn't get better than that.

When I said good-bye to everyone, they looked genuinely sad - especially because I won't see them for Christmas. Logan (7 years old) kept asking when he would see me and why I wasn't going to be in Idaho for Christmas! I think he hugged me five times before he let me leave! Sophia was a sweetheart and I promised I would come see her in January. Katie told me to call her which I will! Jameson gave me a hug and I told him I'd see him soon, same with Broskey (Tyler). I thanked Brother Fishback for letting us stay for Thanksgiving and wrote Miss Brandy a nice note because she was still asleep.

So Sabrina and I packed the trunk and five grueling hours of Utah drivers later - we were back in Provo. It's bittersweet to be back... mostly bitter right now. And tomorrow brings with it an agonizing day of classes that can't seem to pass quick enough. *cough.. Statistics.. cough cough*.

How wonderful this Thanksgiving has been. How grateful I am for friends and family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!