About Me

My photo
Provo, Utah, United States
Welcome to "Miss Mighty Midge" - A place I can share a piece of my heart with the world. Blogging is my joy. I'm a college student trying to carve myself a place in life. I'm small, funny, passionate, and a little shy. Welcome to the stories of my life...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Clumsy

I try to avoid writing new posts when I'm angry because I don't want to say anything that I'll read in the morning and think, "Why in the world would I publish that online?" However, I believe this is an exception. It has occurred to me - over many past experiences - that I am clumsy. Anyone and everyone who knows me is probably laughing hysterically about now and thinking, "Seriously, Kristi? You're just now realizing this?" So I say to you, "Yes! I am just now realizing this." And it is true that I trip over myself, I'm awkward around new people, I probably speak my mind a little too well and I just can't seem to grasp the concept of a good first impression... but believe it or not... this is not what I'm referring to when I call myself clumsy.

I was sitting in the Wilk today (a building on campus) waiting for Brittany to get done with her class so she could give me a ride home. I was reflecting on the day's past events, and stumbling to label how I was feeling about everything, when my thoughts started turning towards relationships. I don't like to dwell too much on past relationships because I think it's dumb... but today seemed to be an exception. As I was thinking I realized that I really am clumsy - and not only in the traditional way, but with my heart. I finally realized that sometimes I get ahead of myself. My feet move quicker than the rest of me and I end up wiping out! This means I get carried away too fast - I get attached too fast only to find that the proverbial "he" is moving like a snail across fly tape! The next relationship that comes along, I end up moving too slow - apprehensive about wiping out and falling straight on my butt again. I can't seem to trust myself enough to move ahead and by the time I've mustered up the courage to finally take the plunge "he" has realized I'm not what he wants anymore. So then I'm moving along in life and out of nowhere I trip over a rock I didn't even see coming and eat the pavement big time! I relate this to the people who are in your life for about 2.5 seconds before they shoot you down out of thin air. And by this time I'm ready to take the plunge again - ready to finally make something work... and the cycle starts all over again.

Why am I rampaging about my completely depressing love life? Because in my heart I know it's not in vain. And every time I "taste the pavement" I realize two things: 1.) that concrete tastes like bird crap and 2.) I know now more than ever what I want and what I am looking for.

So what is the point? What's the point of seemingly endless torture in the world of dating? I honestly don't know. All I can hope for is that one day I'll find someone who knows how clumsy I am and doesn't care. Where is the man that will slow me down when I get ahead of myself and say, "Kristi, you need to slow it down. I'm not going anywhere."? Where is the man that will pick me up when I can't move my feet and say, "Kristi, I know you're scared and I'm scared too. But we can do this together because together we have nothing to fear."? Where is that guy?

All I know is that for the first time since I was sixteen, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing in the realm of dating. So I say to all the clumsy people out there... you aren't alone. And if we keep moving forward, we just might learn how to stay on our own two feet along the way.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

This Thanksgiving Season

This Thanksgiving was wonderful. Rexburg was amazing! It was so great to be back in Idaho with Micah, Linnea, Sabrina and Brittany. Brittany's family was the best as always and the kids were as cute as ever. We celebrated Thanksgiving the day after the actual holiday because Brother Fishback was driving down from Alaska a little later than expected. Micah left for Alaska the day after Sabrina, Brittany and I arrived in Idaho. We were sad to see her leave but it is so exciting that she is with her soon-to-be fiance, David!

Brittany, Sabrina, Linnea, Miss Brandy, Jaime and I went Black Friday shopping on Thursday night at Walmart. It was crazy! People are literally insane. I was just standing in line when some random lady completely ran my foot over! Naturally I gave her an unpleasant look, to which she scowled and said, "Well... You moved!" Excuse me lady?! After shopping we were all famished so Brittany, Sabrina, Linnea and I decided to drive to Idaho Falls to eat at Denny's. It was probably midnight by the time we got there and everyone was so tired and slap happy that I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out.

Our Thanksgiving celebration was awesome! I made pumpkin pies and helped with the gravy. I even had to call my Nana to make sure we were cooking the Turkeys on the right temperature! It's funny that a meal which took all day to prepare only took about fifteen minutes to cram down our throats, haha. After Thanksgiving Dinner we all played Just Dance. It was hilarious. The boys were so funny dancing to Brittany Spears' Toxic. Miss Brandy and Brother Fishback even got up and danced! That night all the older kids watched Part 2 of The Deathly Hollows. I never thought it would turn out to be as funny as it actually was. All of us were cracking "Your Mom" jokes the entire time. Most of them cannot be repeated because of their sheer inappropriateness but we literally could not stop laughing! Then Brother Fishback would pop his head in the room periodically, turn on the lights and say, "Yo mama!" and then walk away! We were laughing so hard our abs were aching the next morning.

As Sabrina and I packed our things up to get ready to leave Saturday afternoon, there was a lump in my throat. I didn't want to leave! We had such a wonderful break. I'm pretty sure that 90% of our time was spent laughing our heads off and strategically farting on each other's heads! In my book, it just doesn't get better than that.

When I said good-bye to everyone, they looked genuinely sad - especially because I won't see them for Christmas. Logan (7 years old) kept asking when he would see me and why I wasn't going to be in Idaho for Christmas! I think he hugged me five times before he let me leave! Sophia was a sweetheart and I promised I would come see her in January. Katie told me to call her which I will! Jameson gave me a hug and I told him I'd see him soon, same with Broskey (Tyler). I thanked Brother Fishback for letting us stay for Thanksgiving and wrote Miss Brandy a nice note because she was still asleep.

So Sabrina and I packed the trunk and five grueling hours of Utah drivers later - we were back in Provo. It's bittersweet to be back... mostly bitter right now. And tomorrow brings with it an agonizing day of classes that can't seem to pass quick enough. *cough.. Statistics.. cough cough*.

How wonderful this Thanksgiving has been. How grateful I am for friends and family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Why I love Christmas...

The number one reason I love Christmas is Will Ferell. Elf  is my all time favorite movie and my feelings about this Christmas are best described in a scene from this movie. I hope you enjoy!


~Tis the Season to Be Midgee!

Monday, November 7, 2011

My Hero

My little sister is my hero. She recently made a video about being Happy. I would like to share it with you all, that we all might be reminded that happiness is strength to endure.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Road Not Taken


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.        20
 

Robert Frost                                                  

I've been reflecting a lot lately on where my life is going, the goals I have for the next few years, and who I want to become. It seems so overwhelming at times - making decisions. Some days I feel as though it would be so much easier if I lived in a fairy tale. I feel like these past two years of my life has been a road "less traveled by." But when things seem most dark, I remember that one day I will look back and know in my heart that it "has made all the difference."