Find Me

"Find Me" By Hilary Weeks
I tuck the pain away...
So deep, that no one else could see it.
I guess I believe if I buried it, I wouldn't have to feel it.
I tried to run...
I tried to hide...
But the shadows seemed to follow me.


Lord, would you please...
Find me...
In my hidden places.
Come find me...
Even where the shadows hide.
Strike a match, bring a torch.
Illuminate this deep divide and find me...


I tried a hundred times,
to find my way out of the darkness.
But every road I took was leading me right back where I started.
A place too deep...
Somewhere too far...
I'm in desperate need of rescuing.


Lord, would you please...
Find me...

In my hidden places.
Come find me...
Even where the shadows hide.
Strike a match, bring a torch.
Illuminate this deep divide and find me...



Lord, would you please...
Find me...

In my hidden places.
Come find me...
Even where the shadows hide.
Strike a match, bring a torch.
Illuminate this deep divide and find me...


Today was a harder day than most. I listened to this song by Hilary Weeks and I felt as if my soul was singing with hers. I realized today that sometimes our trials seem to last forever. Sometimes I just want to plead the Lord for a break. But after thinking this through, I realized that we don't always have all the answers. We don't always know what the best way is. And God, being the merciful Lord He is, allows us to hurt and feel pain that we may be made stronger. Does this knowledge make our trials any easier? No. It doesn't. But it makes it easier to bare.

I've never allowed myself to be vulnerable on my blog before. But for some reason, I feel like sharing a very vulnerable piece of my heart. I try very hard to stay light-hearted. I try to keep up a good sense of humor when times are hard. But the truth is, I get sad and hurt just like anyone else. I think the biggest cross I've been called to bare in this life is loneliness. At times it grips my heart and despair overshadows my hope of a brighter future. Struggling through life's unavoidable disappointments, I cling to the faith that God has not forsaken me. I've learned truly, that in my darkest moments... when I feel that I'm too far gone for God to hear me, I remember that though I may stray from Him, He is never too far from me. And in turning back to Him, He invites me in to His outstretched hand, asking me to put my trust in Him. A leap of faith, a surrender of my stubborn will, the courage to walk ahead, even when I cannot see the way - these are His conditions. This is what He asks. And when I remember to be strong, when I remember that I am His daughter... I can feel the loneliness lift, for however brief... for however long... it lifts enough for me to breathe another day. And in this relief, I am reminded that God does grant us mercies. I pray that each of us will come to the knowledge that in our deepest darkness, Christ will give us light.